Change, well the only consistent thing in our lives isn’t it. Cliche it may sound, but it seems like my past one year has plunged into a mixed journey of discovery, mixed emotions as well. Some of you may have read my “10 things i have learnt when i turned 24” here, which i still resonate a lot with many of the key points, but the year of 2015 kept me stuck in a corner of reflection again. My MBTI personality has changed from an ENTJ to ENTP as well (though i suppose my E has changed to an I). I decided to leave my first job (definitely an awesome 3 years experience) to focus on my masters. I stopped going to many activities, despite i am deeply passionate on general issues as the means of general knowledge and personal obligations. But then, my personal get-away therapy has found its new agenda, a simple cycle away from the bustling city and camping out for a night, enjoy the greetings of mother nature the next day. I took a slower path somehow, while everyone is talking about going fast and high, about the latest startup scene, just-anything about what is defined by the monetary economic system we are living in.
So here it is, a quarter century year old, 25 year old. No i did not have my first property yet, nor i have my first million earned, and, which i always question if these are merely the young adults definition of the society in this part of the world. Well, seriously, not that i disregard the reality of financial hardship we, young Malaysians are facing (i have strict records on my expenditure down to the few bucks lol), but perhaps coming from the an architecture background with the continuous quest on happiness to humanity and cities, the pursuit of happiness is always on the thought. Which partly taught me on sufficiency living that appreciates the little blessings i have around, my family, my (few) friends. I suppose my social fabric has also changed a lot since university time, from the hundreds of self made name cards flying around, now i wonder if i can count my friends with one hand in the next 5 or 10 years.
On the other note, not that i have finished my Masters as well (disappointing yes it is! most likely 1 year delay, was targeting it by this birthday!). I personally think i gained maturity across the years in the sense of placing myself in the context of humanity and hope! It is weird on how the sanguine creature within me crawling out well despite the mountains of pessimistic subjects around. Considering most of the articles i wrote are about problems we face as humanity as whole, i do struggle trying to understand the bigger pictures for the solutions. Nevertheless, i am glad on how much curiosity and purpose have led me to where i am today.
Well let’s face it, eventually, anyone will walk down the personal question of what is life all about. To some, i may have back slided in my personal spiritual journey, but that is something i am accountable to God personally. And as far as i am concern where my life itself is an act of worship to God, there is definitely something much more than going to Sunday churches alone. Nothing else gives you such a reassuring statement when your spiritual walk guides you through in understanding the chaotic world we are living in throughout the years, it is amazing how interconnected everyone is across various faith, sector, society and parts of the world. The thought of being successful now no longer ties in with personal merits or monetary achievements but instead, thinking of the benefit of humanity and planet very much, the reflections of His creation. Which i tend to quote this a lot:
The plain fact is that the planet does not need more successful people. But it does desperately need more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers, and lovers of every kind. It needs people who live well in their places. It needs people of moral courage willing to join the fight to make the world habitable and humane. And these qualities have little to do with success as we have defined it. David Orr 1992 “Ecological Literacy: Educating Our Children for a Sustainable World”
Well, what’s next after 25 really? I admit. There are many, many times i’ve asked myself the IF questions. If i would have gone to study Masters in somewhere else… If i should change industry (still under same passion or field of interest).. If i would have continued my architecture part 2 studies to be a professional architect. But you know what feels so much more worthy of? To constantly ride on the anxiety and mysterious unfolding events of knowing your passion path is indeed a correct one. We shall see.
And yes, i don’t really celebrate my birthdays as some of you may know. But here’s to my deserving, wonderful mom that painfully gave birth to me 25 years ago. Thanks mom and sister for constantly instilling on the fundamentals of a healthy spiritual life into me, despite me still being quite stubborn with my own world views!